Let me say this clearly, before your brain tries to argue with me:
You are not doing this wrong.
Not the illness.
Not the grief.
Not the healing.
Not the holidays.
Not the relationships.
Not the surviving.
You are not failing because you’re tired.
You are not weak because you need rest.
You are not behind because your life doesn’t look like it used to.
Some days all you can do is exist inside your body, and that is not a moral failure. That is reality.
Somewhere along the way, a lot of us learned that we’re only doing things “right” if we’re productive, positive, improving, or inspiring — especially when we’re sick. Especially when we’re grieving. Especially when people are watching.
But pain doesn’t follow instructions.
Healing doesn’t move in straight lines.
And survival does not come with a checklist.
If you’re measuring yourself against who you were before — stop.
That version of you didn’t have to carry this.
If you’re measuring yourself against other people — stop.
You don’t see what it costs them to get through the day either.
If you feel guilty for canceling plans, for not replying, for resting, for not being cheerful, for needing help, for not “handling it better” — please hear this:
Needing less does not mean you are less.
You are allowed to move slower now.
You are allowed to choose quiet.
You are allowed to redefine what a good day looks like.
A good day might be:
getting out of bed eating something answering one message breathing through the worst moment letting someone sit with you choosing softness instead of pushing
That still counts.
You don’t owe anyone strength.
You don’t owe anyone optimism.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how hard this is.
You are not broken because this changed you.
You are not dramatic because it hurts.
You are not ungrateful because you’re struggling.
You are human.
And this is heavy.
If no one has told you lately — let me be the one:
You are doing the best you can with what you have.
And that is enough.
Not someday.
Not when things improve.
Not when you feel stronger.
Enough now.
💌 A Note From Mojo & the Mess
If this post felt like it was written for you, that’s because it was. This space exists for people who are tired of feeling like they’re failing something they never chose.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for staying.
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