They tell you chemo will make you sick.
They say things like nausea and fatigue like that’s enough to prepare you for it.
It’s not.
Because what they don’t explain is what it actually feels like when your body won’t stop getting sick.
Not just once.
Not just “I don’t feel good.”
I mean over and over.
The kind where your whole body is involved.
Where you’re heaving so hard you can’t catch your breath.
And even when there’s nothing left…
your body still tries.
That part feels cruel.
You try to sip water because you know you need it.
You tell yourself just a little, just try
And then you’re right back in the bathroom.
Again.
It’s exhausting in a way that’s hard to explain.
Not just tired… like completely drained.
Your body feels empty.
But somehow still fighting you at the same time.
And then the dehydration hits.
It sneaks up at first, and then suddenly your head is pounding so hard it turns into a migraine.
The kind where you can’t open your eyes.
Where even the smallest sound feels too loud.
You just lay there thinking,
please let this stop.
No one really talks about that part.
They don’t talk about how weak you feel.
How standing up feels like too much.
How your hands shake.
How you stop feeling like yourself.
Because that’s really what it is.
You lose control of your own body for a while.
It’s just reacting… doing whatever it’s going to do…
and you’re stuck in it, waiting it out.
This isn’t the part people see.
It’s not the chemo chair photos.
It’s not the “stay strong” posts.
It’s the bathroom floor.
It’s the quiet.
It’s the moments where you don’t even have the energy to cry anymore.
It’s just… surviving it.
And if you’re in this part right now,
I get it.
Even if all you did today was make it through one wave of it…
that counts.
That’s still you fighting.
🐾 Mojo’s POV
She says she’s okay.
She is not okay.
I stay close anyway.
I watch. I wait. I don’t leave.
Because even when she feels like she’s falling apart…
she’s still here.
And that’s enough for me.
🤍
If you’ve been here, you already understand.
If you haven’t… just know this is part of it too.
The part people don’t usually say out loud.
🤍 If You’re Still Here
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Thank you for caring.
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