Letters From the Mess


Hey you,

You don’t know yet.

You’re sitting there under fluorescent lights, trying to breathe normal, trying to act like this is just another Tuesday. Maybe you’re half-scrolling your phone. Maybe you’re staring blankly at a poster about colon health. Maybe you’re just… waiting — in every possible way.

You’re not “sick” yet.
You haven’t said the word out loud.
You don’t know this moment is going to split your life in two.

This is your before.

And I know what’s coming.
I know the words you’re about to hear — maybe not today, maybe not until after labs and scans and referrals — but soon.
And once you do, you’ll never unknow them.


You’ll Want to Protect Everyone But Yourself

They’ll say it softly — in clipped, rehearsed syllables:

“It looks like cancer.”
“It’s advanced.”
“We’ll talk next steps.”

Your body will freeze while your brain spins.
Your hands won’t feel like your own.
And worst of all?
You’ll think about everyone else before yourself.

Because once you hear it, you’ll have to say it.
You’ll have to pick up the phone and ruin people’s days with your existence.
You’ll have to watch your mom’s face fall.
Your best friend’s voice shake.
Your partner blink fast to stop from crying.

You’ll break hearts just by telling the truth.


💬 Some Things You Deserve to Hear

You didn’t choose this.
You didn’t cause this.
You are not a burden.

You don’t have to soften it for anyone else.
You don’t have to hold it together for the sake of someone else’s comfort.

Let people cry. Let them be broken.
It means you matter to them.
It means you are wildly, deeply, loudly loved.

So, to the girl still in the waiting room —
the girl about to step into the part of her life that will never be the same —
this is me reaching across the space between us to say:

💬 You don’t have to be brave.
💬 You don’t have to know what to say.
💬 You don’t have to pretend you’re okay just because you’re scared to watch someone else cry.


This Is Still Your Life

There will be grief.
But there will be beauty too — in the small things:

  • The dog that won’t leave your side
  • The way the sky looks when you need it most
  • A message from someone you didn’t know was watching

You don’t have to be brave.
You don’t have to be okay.
You just have to be.

Broken.
Quiet.
Numb.
Still here.

And you are.
That’s enough.


🐾 Mojo’s POV

Hi. I’m Mojo.

I don’t know what your labs say.
I don’t know what your scan will show.
But I do know when my person is about to fall apart — and I never let her do it alone.

I loaf. I breathe with her. I climb on her lap when she says she’s fine.
Because I know.

So if you’re reading this and your heart is thudding out of your chest while you sit in a chair that smells like sanitizer and fear —
I’m laying next to you in spirit.

I’ve got one paw on your leg and one eye on the hallway.

And when they say the thing that changes everything,
I’ll still be here.
Silent. Soft. Stubbornly close.

We’ll get through the telling.
We’ll get through the hurting.
We’ll get through the waiting rooms together.

Love,
Mojo 🐾
Support Specialist
Emotional Pressure Loaf
Still Watching


💬 “It’s not your fault if the truth breaks their hearts.”

You were just being honest about something that never should’ve happened to you.


Want to read more like this? Subscribe, share, or just sit with me in the mess a while. We’re still here. Dont foget to check out the home page for resources and links.

One response to “💌 Letter to the Girl in the Waiting Room Who Doesn’t Know Yet”

  1. mshibdonssciencelab Avatar

    Isabel, you are loved. You matter to me. Hugs, momma

    PS… You are making a difference!

    Sir Mojo, thank you.

    Like

Leave a reply to mshibdonssciencelab Cancel reply

I’m Izzy

Welcome to mojo and the mess, This isn’t the blog I ever expected to write — but it’s the one I needed.

I’m Izzy, a twenty-something living (and dying) with terminal cancer, navigating the messy, heartbreaking, unexpectedly beautiful in-between. Here, you’ll find raw reflections, real talk, dog snuggles (shoutout to Mojo), and the unfiltered truth about what it’s like to face the end of your life before it really got going.

This space is for the ones who’ve felt forgotten, the ones who don’t know what to say, and the ones who are still holding on. It’s not always pretty, but it’s always honest.

Thanks for being here. You’re part of the mess now — and I mean that in the best way.

Let’s connect