(By Mojo, Protector of Packages)
Dear Delivery Guy (and also you, Mail Lady, don’t think you’re off the hook),
First of all: thank you for your service. You bring us treasures in boxes, and boxes are my second favorite thing after snacks. BUT—we need to have a serious conversation about that doorbell.
The Problem
Mom is resting. Mom is always resting. Sometimes because she’s tired, sometimes because she feels sick, and sometimes because Netflix asked her nicely. And then you—doorbell destroyer—decide to ding-dong like you’re announcing the end of the world.
Do you know what happens? I bark. She jumps. Everyone’s mad. And then we open the door and it’s… paper towels. Or socks. Or one of those packages Mom forgot she ordered at 2 a.m. while half-asleep.
The Solution
Look, I’ve thought about this. It’s simple:
- Leave the packages.
- Scratch the door gently three times.
- Whisper “for Mojo” and set down a side snack (optional but strongly encouraged).
No bell. No chaos. No heart palpitations for Mom.
A Subtle Thank You
And while we’re on the subject of packages… some of you lovely humans out there have actually sent things straight from my Amazon Wish List. Do you know how special that makes me feel?? A whole list of goodies just for me, and you actually went and picked one. From the bottom of my smooshy little Frenchie heart: thank you. You’re basically my favorite delivery people ever.
In Conclusion
Delivery friends: keep the boxes coming, but lose the ding-dong. You’ll save Mom some stress, save me from unnecessary barking, and maybe—just maybe—earn yourself a spot on my “do not bark at” list.
(Warning: That list is currently empty. But I’m willing to negotiate if snacks are involved.)
Signed,
Mojo 🐾
Chief Package Inspector, Full-Time Snack Enthusiast
PS: While you’re here, make sure to subscribe to the blog & check out the homepage—there’s resources, ways to support, and more little things that keep me and mom going. 💙
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